


But I'm Still Here

by brandumpling



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, F/M, Rarepair, Recovery, spoilers for seteth's background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:40:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22201996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandumpling/pseuds/brandumpling
Summary: "Fair enough. What are you doing out so early?" she inquired. By now, she had reached the dock, and sat beside him. He had a journal in his hands."Truth be told, I couldn't sleep. This war has put much on my mind, and I thought that writing something could help alleviate it. However, I have thought of nothing. Its as if there's a block in my mind; perhaps you could call it writers block" he said.An early of morning fishing that escalates into deep conversations of everlasting guilt, and finally moving forward.
Relationships: Seteth/Leonie, Seteth/Seteth's Wife (Fire Emblem)
Kudos: 12





	But I'm Still Here

“Seteth! You’re out here earlier than usual.” Leonie remarked, walking up to the fishing pond. The advisor to the Archbishop was sitting on the dock, looking distantly forward. It was nearly five in the morning. She was surprised to see Seteth at this time; the Guardian Moon brought chills as early as midnight, which wavered through the entire day. The sun hadn't risen yet; with it still being quite dark out, only a few torches lit around the premises illuminated the area.

"Ah, Leonie. I suppose I am, though I could say the same for you." he replied, his face still facing the reservoir on the far side of the pond . He was sitting on the dock, his fishing line next to him. It was un-baited. When Leonie looked a bit closer, she could actually see there were actually two. He was in his regular Church uniform; with it being so cold out, she had no idea how he wasn't shivering to death; his lapels were not the heaviest, after all. She donned an extra jacket; albeit, it looked more like a bunch of tattered fabrics that were barely seamed together, as well as some extra padded wool on her pants.

"Fair enough. What are you doing out so early?" she inquired. By now, she had reached the dock, and sat beside him. He had a journal in his hands.

"Truth be told, I couldn't sleep. This war has put much on my mind, and I thought that writing something could help alleviate it. However, I have thought of nothing. Its as if there's a block in my mind; perhaps you could call it writers block" he said. Leonie recalled seeing the same journal with him many times he strolled around the monastery, yet she didn't remember seeing him actually write in it. She's heard from Bernadetta about Seteth's stories about the saints for children, and has seen more than enough of Hilda's illustrations for them. Yet, that's all she knew about his history of writing.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe some fishing would help?" she inquired. Their times of fishing together had become something of a past time for them both; he had shown her how relaxing the activity could be, while she reignited his love for the sport. Fishing had been one of the few things that he could reminisce about; all in memory of his wife. In more peaceful days, Seteth could recall days of fishing his heart away while his wife sat beside him; Flayn running around in the sands, digging up small finds that were mostly just scattered rocks and shells. Now, he could look back on it with happiness; not only remembering better times, but having a partner who made the time all them more enjoyable.

Despite fishing be so calming for both of them, Seteth truly didn't want to fish at the moment. He had brought a line just in case he managed to dredge up the motivation to fish, while he had brought the other almost in hopes to bring Leonie. Her company has given him much comfort and needed closure that he desired her presence.

"Perhaps. Though I fear that I might not have much luck with it, at least right now." he told her.

"Why is that?" she inquired. He finally turned to face her.

"Well, to be honest, there has been a lot that I have been thinking of. It's clouding my ability to focus; both on writing, and on fishing".

"I don't know a lot about writing, but I do know that when I was still enrolled in the Academy, and I couldn't seem to catch a fish, or beat someone in sparring, I ended up just venting about it to someone and I was able to accomplish what I previously couldn't Maybe it could be the same here?" she proclaimed. Seteth pondered over her statement for a few moments. It was true that he wanted to talk about what had been bothering him, though he didn't know where to even begin.

"I suppose I could give it a try. Are you willing to listen?" he asked of her. Talking about his wife was something that Seteth rarely did; he still had nightmares of being unable to protect her. It brought him no shortage of shame. Though, perhaps, he could open up about it with someone who brought him the same amount of peace as her.

"Of course, Seteth! How about handing me one of those lines, and we fish while we talk? Maybe at the end we'll have a catch to cook up!" she added. He liked the idea; if he couldn't get the words out, he could at least possibly get a fish out of the pond. He smiled, and handed her one of the lines. He reached over to a bait bucket they had nearby, and they added the feed onto their rods. As they cast their lines, he began to speak.

"I've actually been trying to write about...my wife.". He paused for a second, considering on how to continue.

"She was my everything back then. When she left this world, returning to Sothis' side, I felt so lost. I've been trying to honor her memory in the form of a children's tale; Flayn used to love these back then. Perhaps, if I could bring other kids the same joy she had given to me, then she could live on. Yet, every time I pick up a quill to write her into words, I simply fail to breathe life into it." he reminisced.

"I thought, maybe, being out here at the pond could help clear my mind. Yet it seems to do the exact opposite; being here, alone, had never made me feel more like a failure." he finished. His feelings weren't just that of longing of her embrace; it was of regret. Being unable to protect the one he loved.

"Why would you consider yourself a failure?" she inquired, turning from the pond to face him.

"Because...". He collected his thoughts. Looking at her, he finally revealed his biggest burden.

"I failed to protect her". Those words shattered something in him; he never verbalized those words to anyone. Why he was revealing it to Leonie of all people; he found no answer other then she radiated an open aura. One that listened. Seteth looked away, back to the reservoir.

"It was all so long ago. Yet whenever I think upon it, it's as if it only happened yesterday. Flayn and I barely escaped with our lives. At first, I could only funnel my days into ensuring her survival. She had slept for so long. Yet, through it all, the overwhelming guilt of my wife's passing...".

"I don't know if I'll ever absolve myself of that guilt." he said. For the first time in perhaps centuries, he felt tears drip down his face. Leonie looked out into the pond. They hadn't caught anything yet.

"I... I won't deny that I don't know everything that you're going through. But, what I can understand is that feeling of loss. When Jeralt died, I felt like an utter fool; he had trained me to be one that could surpass him. I failed to stop his death. The pain it caused to all in the monastery...I felt as if it was my fault. It only got worse when I realized that the professor must have had it so much worse, yet it never stopped the pain." she disclosed. Seteth knew that she took her apprenticeship to Jeralt seriously, yet he never considered that she possibly blamed herself for what happened.

"Jeralt is gone, but the professor is still here. That's why I continue fighting; in fact, it may well be the reason I continue living. The loss of Jeralt hurt more than I ever knew, but it gave me even more resolve to keep living. Perhaps your wife could do the same?" she told him. He was surprised; she gave such profound wisdom that perhaps only a sage could repeat. When his wife passed, Seteth had resolved himself to wallowing in guilt. But perhaps, through him, she could live on. Leonie had shown him this; it was no longer theoretical. People, things, even entire places could live on through one person's actions.

"My wife is gone. But, I'm still here. Flayn is still here. I...".

"Don't push yourself to acceptance too quick. It will take time for you to finally acccept all of the guilt you have placed on yourself. Even I still sometimes have lingering thoughts of guilt. But, I'll be here with you; you don't have to be alone, Seteth. We can move forward...together" she concluded. Seteth thought of her words yet again. Moving forward.

_My wife is gone. But I'm still here. And now, I'm no longer alone._

Through a smile that slowly appeared on Seteth's face, he felt his line ripple in the water.

_With the war against the empire and Those Who Slither in the Dark finally over, Seteth and Leonie were destined to part ways. That was to be, until Seteth frantically ran up to Leonie as she headed out of Garreg Mach. Through his begs to stay, she finally relented, and agreed. Seteth took a much more passive role in the restoration of Garreg Mach; rather than politically restoring the Church, he left that job to those destined to rule and resolved himself to spiritually reinvigorating the monastery. His most famous example was the tale about a woman who showed the world how to love again. Years later, none could say where the two ended up. However, it is oft rumored that a happy couple spent their remaining days in a small mountain village. Though they fished to their hearts content, many recall how they spent their time gazing out into the open sea._

**Author's Note:**

> this is def a rarepair, but its ok bc their supports are so cute???? i believe their fishing helps them both  
> also WOOHOO first person in this ship tag uwu
> 
> twitter: brunling


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